Conflicted

I am not built to handle conflict. I suppose none of us are, if it comes to that, but my past makes it especially difficult for me to face. I have unplugged my phone, turned off my mobile, and changed a few online settings. Some people are better at dealing with this stuff. Well, that ain’t me. The first sign of a raised voice or attack to my person and I threaten to shatter into a million pieces.

Someone has chosen to hate me (or certainly to act like it) and make my life difficult. Yes, we have a full-blown personality clash, though they had that with more than just me. I do not understand how someone can so fully abdicate their personal responsibility and then hurl insults and threats on top of that. Well, be it on their conscience, though it’s still me, not them, who has to deal with the consequences.

So please forgive me if I am a little fragile for some time to come. It takes me a long while to recover from conflict, because it is absolute horror to me – trauma, essentially, like a deep wound to the soul. Perhaps someday I will heal enough to be able to withstand these things better, but in the meantime, don’t mind me if I hide away for a while.

Thoroughly Interrupted

Well, hello again. You might guess from one of my last posts that I came down with a particularly nasty bug. It turned out to be a chest infection thingy, also with fever, and that pretty much scuttled any plans I had for my brain to do anything. For weeks, as you can see. I’ve also got laryngitis and haven’t spoken a word in 4 weeks or so. Whispered, yes, but it’s not quite the same. Weird.

Anyway, time to start over, and on a Monday, no less. This forced break from blogging and writing and publishing has allowed me to step back and look at it all a little more objectively – not from the inside, as it were. I’ve recognised that there are certain strategies that make my work easier from day to day – for example, it’s a much better use of time to write and schedule all my blog posts a week’s worth at a time, rather than scrambling for something every evening. It’s also better to view my publishing tasks bit by bit, rather than the whole schamassel which can certainly seem overpowering at times.

So here’s to the next round of Daily Doctor, Photo Story, Reading Challenge, and whatever else I can cook up for you here.